How we work together

Therapy isn't about finding the right advice or fixing something that's wrong with you.

It's an opportunity to slow down and become curious about your experience—to notice the patterns, beliefs, emotions, and ways of relating that shape your life, and to consider whether they are still serving you.

I see therapy as a collaborative process. I bring my training, experience, curiosity, and perspective; you bring your experience of your own life. Together, we pay attention to what emerges and explore what might be possible.

Awareness and acceptance before change

Many of us learn ways of coping that make sense given what we've experienced. Those strategies may have helped us get through difficult times, even if they later become limiting or painful.

Rather than judging these patterns, we can become curious about them.

What happens when you feel threatened, rejected, overwhelmed, or uncertain?

What do you tell yourself?

What do you do automatically?

What are you protecting?

What do you long for?

Greater awareness can create a little space between what we feel and how we respond. That space can make room for self compassion and acceptance which make new choices possible.

Mindfulness and self-compassion

Mindfulness is one of the foundations of my work.

Rather than trying to eliminate difficult thoughts or feelings, mindfulness invites us to notice what is happening with greater openness, less judgment, and acceptance.

Self-compassion extends that practice inward. It asks what might change if, instead of criticizing ourselves for struggling, we approached ourselves with the same understanding we might offer someone we care about.

These aren't techniques you have to master. They're ways of relating to yourself that we can explore together.

Working with the different parts of ourselves

I draw from Internal Family Systems (IFS) in understanding the different parts of ourselves that emerge in response to life experiences.

You may notice, for example, a part of you that wants to keep everything under control, another that feels overwhelmed, and another that is deeply critical of yourself.

Rather than deciding that one of these parts is the problem, we can become curious about each of them.

What is it trying to do for you?

What is it afraid might happen?

What does it need?

This kind of curiosity can soften internal conflict and create a greater sense of choice.

Developing flexibility

I also draw from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

These approaches offer practical ways of working with difficult emotions, thoughts, relationships, and decisions.

We may explore how to stay present with experiences that are uncomfortable while also moving toward the people, relationships, values, and activities that matter to you.

Sometimes that means learning a new skill.

Sometimes it means letting go of a struggle that has been taking up enormous energy.

Sometimes it means making a difficult choice.

Our relationship

I believe the most important aspect of therapy is the relationship you and I develop.

I want our work to be genuine, collaborative, and grounded in respect.

There can be room for uncertainty, humor, anger, sadness, contradiction, and moments when neither of us is quite sure what comes next.

We'll figure it out together.

Spirituality and meaning

For some people, questions about spirituality, faith, purpose, or meaning are inseparable from their emotional lives.

If that's true for you, those questions have a place in therapy.

My own spiritual practice is rooted in Zen Buddhism and Catholicism, but I don't bring a particular spiritual framework into our work unless it is meaningful to you. I'm interested in understanding what gives your life meaning and how your beliefs—or questions about belief—fit into the person you are becoming.

What I hope you'll take with you

I don't expect therapy to make life permanently comfortable or free of difficulty.

I hope instead that our work can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself, greater compassion for your own experience, and more freedom to respond to life in ways that reflect who you want to be.